Week Seven - Mental Habits of Happiness

• Training the mind for happiness
• when it comes to happiness, ppl can easily become their worst enemies: slipping into thought patterns that bring anguish and anxiety but are difficult to avoid, or even notice
• Looking to internal, global, enduring stable conditions to make sense of faults can lead to depression
• Toxic patterns of thought:
• perfectionism
• Praising kids for being perfect causes them to feel alienated and anxious
• Thinking about "ideal aspirations" in an oppressive way leads to feeling dejected and anxious
• Epidemic of perfectionism in young women: not only beautiful and smart, but powerful and athletic
• social comparisons
• Upward comparisons reduce self-perceptions
• Downward comparisons reduce perceived value of others
• materialism
• buying/thinking about experiences boosts happiness more than buying/thinking about material goods
• "maximizing"
• trying to maximize pleasure in our decisions is associated w less happiness
• "satisficing", or to find delight with what is given to us, is associated w great happiness
• maximizers are: 
• more regretful after purchases
• less satisfied w life
• more depressed
• less satisfied w success
• less optimistic
• Benefits of training the mind for happiness:
• Resilience in response to disease
• Resilience in response to trauma
• Optimism
• The expectation that the future will be socially desirable, good, and pleasurable
• Optimistic ppl:
• Report greater subjective well being
• Report greater levels of positive emotion
• Higher resting vagal tone
• Have better health in the future
• Misconceptions about training the mind
• We are who we are: unchangeable products of genes and circumstances
• The truth: we are malleable. Ongoing life experiences shape our brains and who we are
• It's brainwashing
• These are scientific-based techniques that are strictly voluntary.
• It encourages "over-optimism" and blinds you to reality
• Mindfulness should make you more attuned to reality, not blind to it.
• Self-Compassion
• The practice of quieting the inner critic, replacing it with a voice of support, understanding, and care for oneself
• Background 
• Sacrifice and self-flagellation are the routes to happiness
• martyrdom - u have to suffer and criticize urself to be happy
• mistakes require punishment
• Narrow view of natural selection: the less-then fittest fails
• Humans need to rein in their selfish, destructive, impulses
• Behaviorism: punish undesirable behaviors
• Self-esteem: we all must be better than avg.
• Fierce competition is route to success and survival
• Three main components
• Self kindness (vs. Self judgment)
• Treating self w care and understanding vs harsh judgment
• Desire to alleviate one's own suffering
• Actively soothing and comforting oneself
• Common humanity (vs. Isolation)
• Seeing own experience as part of a larger human experience, not isolating or abnormal
• Recognizing that life is imperfect 
• Something going wrong does NOT equal abnormal
• this mindset of setbacks being abnormal is bad bc it leads to a frightened emotion in the body; evolutionarily we do not want to be different because being different isn't safe
• Mindfulness (vs. Over-identification)
• Avoiding extremes of suppressing or running away w painful feelings
• Allow us to "be" with painful feelings as they are
• Overcoming objections to self-compassion
• self-criticism and harsh criticism from others causes depression and makes confidence goes away, so motivation goes away. you also become afraid of failure
• for some reason we see people from the outside adapt their reactions to our mistakes, but then we never treat our selves with that same nurturing approach-- next time you get a bad grade think about what u can do to make ur self better and help yourself instead of tell to urself what a horrible student you are
• self-criticism gives us the illusion of control; the illusion that its theoretically possible to be perfect
• Get away from the concept of self esteem. Self esteem requires being special or better than others while compassion is accepting of the you that you are.
• Benefits linked to self-compassion:
• Self-compassionate people have better psychological health than people who lack self-compassion
• lower levels of anxiety and depression
• lower levels of cortisol and increased heart-rate variability(strength of vagus nerve) for self-soothing
• better at coping w life's stressors like academic failure, divorce, childhood maltreatment, or chronic pain
• greater willingness to validate their negative emotions, lower likelihood to suppress them
• associated w psychological strengths such as:
• wisdom
• happiness
• optimism
• curiosity and exploration
• personal initiative
• emotional intelligence
• improved relationships
• more empathy, altruism, perspective taking, and forgiveness
• promotes health related behaviors such as:
• sticking to one's diet
• reduced smoking
• seeking medical treatment when necessary
• exercising
• Evidence of these benefits
• Kristin Neff and Chris Germer
• Participants randomly assigned to either a self-compassion training or waitlist for the training
• Completed questionnaires right before, six moths after, and a year after the experiment
• Measured changes in self-compassion, mindfulness, social connectedness, happiness, anxiety, stress, and more
• All the good things above went up with the group in the mindful self-compassion group and all the bad things above went down for that group
• Finding "Flow" and Setting Goals
• What is flow?
• Flow is an intrinsically rewarding or optimal state that results from intense engagement w daily activities
• mental state where hours pass by and you can work without distractions or too many breaks needed; almost meditative
• Connects w being mindful; we are the most happy when we are focused on the present task at hand, "in our flow"
• When do people really feel flow?
• arises from the right balance of challenge and skill level
• is exhilarating, satisfying, and happiness producing
• when they are paying attention
• When one is in a state of flow, they:
• are completely focused at the task at hand
• forget about themselves, about others about the world around them
• lose track of time
• become more creative and productive
• Focus, flow, and "frazzle"
• Bored, flow, stress: these are distinct attentive states
• every variety of attention has a function, but when they get out of proportion, there is a problem
• Flow
• You are challenged to the top of your skill set
• You are adaptable
• You feel good, like a quiet joy
• Frazzle
• emotional centers have hijacked the pre-frontal voluntary attention centers
• going through tape loops of the worry that has been pushed to the front of your thoughts and not being able to let go of it
• Why students need flow
• Students all across the US have reported being bored in class (Indiana University’s 2009 “High School Survey of Student Engagement)
• Memorization, a tactic many students fall to in order to achieve the grades they want, is not good in the long run and does not stay in the brain
• Real learning requires student engagement, (flow being the optimal level of engagement) and that involves a combination of motivation, concentration, interest, and enjoyment derived from the process of learning itself
• Fostering flow
• students are most engaged in school while taking tests, doing individual work, and doing group work, and less so when listening to lectures or watching videos
• when they felt that their activities were under their own control and relevant to their lives
• teachers can encourage more flow in their classrooms through lessons that offer choice, are connected to students’ goals, and provide both challenges and opportunities for success that are appropriate to students’ level of skill
• How goals can foster happiness
• The dopamine system is involved in getting the indiv. to approach and move after goals
• Setting goals for greater happiness:
• "non-zero" goals, which encompass the interests of others for greater good, promotes life-satisfaction
• "zero-sum" goals, such commitment to career success and material gains, detrimental to life satisfaction
• goals that increase feelings of autonomy, competence, or relatedness (connection to others), lead to greater happiness
• "intrinsic" goals, such as deep and lasting relationships, are associated w greater happiness; by contrast, "extrinsic" goals, like achieving fame, are associated w less happiness
• focusing attention on being connected to others = happy while focusing attention on fame and wealth = unhappy

• Happiness Practice #6: Self compassionate letter

• 
  

  First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or inadequate. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life.

  
  

  Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write.

  
  
  
  

  The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike.

  
  

  As you write, follow these guidelines:

  
  

  1. Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?

  
  

  2. Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.

  
  

  3. Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself.

  
  

  4. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.

  
  
  
  

  After writing the letter, copy and paste it into a document where you can save it. Then come back to it later on and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.

  
  

  Please press "Done!" to finish. 
• Happiness Practice #7: Best possible self
• 
  
  
  

  Take a moment to imagine your life in the future. What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all of the relevant areas of your life, such as your career, academic work, relationships, hobbies, and/or health. What would happen in these areas of your life in your best possible future?

  
  

  For the next 15 minutes, write continuously in the space below about what you imagine this best possible future to be. Use the instructions below to help guide you through this process.

  
  

  1. It may be easy for this exercise to lead you to examine how your current life may not match this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which accomplishing goals has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to being able to make these accomplishments happen. For the purpose of this exercise, however, we encourage you to focus on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your best self and your circumstances change just enough to make this best possible life happen.

  
  

  2. This exercise is most useful when it is very specific—if you think about a new job, imagine exactly what you would do, who you would work with, and where it would be. The more specific you are, the more engaged you'll be in the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it.

  
  

  3. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.

  
  
  

  Before submitting your response, you might want to save the text on your own computer so you can refer back to it later.

  
  

Question 1: Multiple Choice

0.75/0.75 points (graded)

Scientific evidence for neuroplasticity suggests that people can train their minds for happiness.

Which of the following does Dacher refer to as a “toxic thought”--a mental habit that gets in the way of happiness?

Optimism

Perfectionism correct

Satisficing

Positive expectations

You have used 1 of 2 attemptsSome problems have options such as save, reset, hints, or show answer. These options follow the Submit button.

 

Correct (0.75/0.75 points)

Question 2: Checkboxes

0.75/0.75 points (graded)

Which of the following are key components of self-compassion, a mental habit of happiness formulated by Kristin Neff?

Please CHECK ALL that apply, and do not check options that do not apply. If you select the correct answer(s), you will see a single green check appear to the left of the top-most answer.

Having high self-esteem

Kindness towards the self

Seeing oneself and others as part of a common humanity

Being mindful

correct

You have used 1 of 2 attemptsSome problems have options such as save, reset, hints, or show answer. These options follow the Submit button.

 

Correct (0.75/0.75 points)