Week 9 - Gratitude

Gratitude

• What is it?
• "The feeling of reverence for things that are given" - Emmons, 2007
• "Gratitude stems from the perception of a positive personal outcome, not necessarily deserved or earned, that is due to the actions of another person" - Emmons, 2003
• the challenge of gratitude is to see how others are giving things to you
• "People feel grateful when they have benefitted from someone's costly, intentional, voluntary effort on their behalf"- McCullough, 2008
• "an affirmation of goodness, and then figuring our where that goodness comes from" - Emmons
• A grateful person is one that is willing to receive gifts that other people are providing for them or sees life itself as a gift
• Measuring Gratitude
• I have so much in life to be thankful for
• I am grateful to a wide variety of people
• As I get older I find myself better able to appreciate the people, the events, and situations that have been a part of my life history
• There is a difference of just having short time gratitude and being a grateful person
• Where does it come from?
• In era of enlightenment, philosophers agreed that it was a cardinal moral emotion that short of promoted cooperative behavior between individuals
• Woodruff - philosopher: gratitude is essential to greek and Chinese philosophy
• What does it have to do with personal happiness and well-being?
• Gratefulness predicts greater:
• happiness
• life satisfaction
• optimism
• less post traumatic stress
• more pro-social leadership
• greater relationships
• Predicts lower
• Envy
• Possessiveness
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Gratitude has a power:
• To heal
• To energize
• To change lives
• help us through hard times
• People who are less grateful:
• Look a life as a scarcity instead of an abundance
• View life as a burden
• Focusing on deprivations, resentments, instead of looking at life as a gift
• How gratitude enhances happiness:
• enhances frequency and magnitude of enjoyment of pleasant, positive emotional experiences in the present moment - it amplifies the good
• Grateful ppl more apt to savor positive experiences
• Grateful people more inclined to notice positive events - "the positivity bias"
• Counteracts adaption and habituation
• Grateful ppl recognize perks that others take for granted
• Gratitude lowers the threshold of appreciation for everyday events
• facilitates access and enjoyment of pleasant, positive memories
• grateful people reminisce on savor-worthy moments more readily. this ability shapes expectations and reflexive judgements to be more positive and pro-social
• Grateful ppl more likely to engage in positive reinterpretation and growth
• Physical and Social Benefits to Gratitude
• fewer discomforts w physical ailments like skin rashes, muscle tension, or headaches
• reductions in blood pressure
• ppl who were grateful reported better friendships and healthier relationships
• allows one to more readily find other people who can present themselves or who can possibly be be partners or friends to collaborate with, cooperate with, or to form meaningful relationships with
• Challenges to Gratitude
• roadblocks and barriers one might be facing in your daily living that prevent you from experiences of gratitude
• myths we have about gratitude: 
• that its superficial, just good manners
• it leads to complacency
• makes one over-accomodating or self-effacing
• not possible in the face of suffering
• naive form of positive thinking
• one has to be religious in order to be grateful
• Cultivating Gratitude
• write a gratitude letter
• keep a gratitude journal
• say thank you! especially in the workplace
• strengthen tendency towards appreciation and savoring
• Gratitude in Schools
• write a gratitude letter
• keep a gratitude journal
• "gratitude visit"
• gratitude curriculum
• notice intentions, appreciate the thought behind gifts
• appreciate costs
• recognize value of benefits
• Gratitude at Work
• start at the top
• thank the people who never get thanked
• aim for quality, not quantity
• provide many opps for gratitude
• in wake of crisis, take time to think about what youre thankful for

Happiness Practice #8 - Gratitude Letter

Call to mind someone who did something for you for which you are extremely grateful but to whom you never expressed your deep gratitude. This could be a relative, friend, teacher, or colleague. Try to pick someone who is still alive and could meet you face-to-face in the next week.

Now, write a letter to one of these people in the space below, using the following guidelines:

1. Write as though you are addressing this person directly (“Dear ______”)

2. Don’t worry about perfect grammar or spelling.

3. Describe in specific terms what this person did, why you are grateful to this person, and how this person’s behavior affected your life. Try to be as concrete as possible.

4. Describe what you are doing in your life now and how you often remember his or her efforts.

5. Try to keep your letter to roughly one page (~300 words).

After you finish writing the letter, copy and paste it into another document and save that document.

Next, plan a visit with the recipient, which will allow you deliver the letter in person. Let that person know you’d like to see him or her and have something special to share, but don’t reveal the exact purpose of the meeting.

If physical distance keeps you from making a visit, you may choose to arrange a phone call, video chat, or send them a video recording of you reading the letter.

In the space below, describe your plan for delivering your gratitude letter. If possible, contact the person now to schedule a time.

Some general guidelines to keep in mind for the visit:

1. When you meet, let the person know that you are grateful to them and would like to read a letter expressing your gratitude; ask that he or she refrain from interrupting until you’re done.

2. Take your time reading the letter. While you read, pay attention to his or her reaction as well as your own.

3. After you have read the letter to the recipient, be receptive to his or her reaction and discuss your feelings together.

4. Remember to give the letter to the person before you leave.

Happiness Practice #9 - Gratitude Journal

Write down up to five things for which you feel grateful

• Be as specific as possible—specificity is key to fostering gratitude. “I’m grateful that my co-workers brought me soup when I was sick on Tuesday” will be more effective than “I’m grateful for my co-workers.”
• Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular person or thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.
• Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.
• Try subtraction, not just addition. Consider what your life would be like without certain people or things, rather than just tallying up all the good stuff. Be grateful for the negative outcomes you avoided, escaped, prevented, or turned into something positive—try not to take that good fortune for granted.
• See good things as “gifts.” Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts guards against taking them for granted. Try to relish and savor the gifts you’ve received.
• Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.
• Revise if you repeat. Writing about some of the same people and things is OK, but zero in on a different aspect in detail.
• Write regularly. Whether you write every other day or once a week, commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment. But…
• Don’t overdo it. Evidence suggests writing occasionally (1-3 times per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. That might be because we adapt to positive events and can soon become numb to them—that’s why it helps to savor surprises.